How to succeed on HubPages! - General T.Y.'s War Report

I've been a member of Hub Pages for a little over a month now. I've wrote a few things. Done some hub hopping, some question answering, some question asking, made a few friends, got harassed by a few terrorists, did a least six headstands, cursed more times than I can count, threw one scoop of ice cream at my laptop, cleaned one scoop of ice cream off of my laptop, created a fictional disease, fought with a teddy bear, and found myself stuck in a car crash, at which point, I decided to Deliver Some Pain, to The Things That Upset Me Like There's No Tomorrow. It's been a pretty fun ride, and through it all, I've made sure to do the most important thing... I've taken it all in!

I've taken notice to some of the things that seem to put people at the top, and I've found things that keep people down at the bottom. A lot of this is still a mystery to me, but after taking time to survey some of the great hubs, I've devised my own unique "how to" article, that will help out the new hubbers, as well as the hubbers that aren't doing so well. In this hub, I intend to share my theories on why some people have more success than others, as well as, apply these strategies myself, while I write this hub.

So kick back, take off some of your clothes, and pour yourself a drink. You 400 pound blobs of humanity, who chug around the grocery store, in electric shopping carts, because you are too lazy to walk... Grab a jumbo box of ding dongs, and get ready to enjoy. Cause this one's gonna be the hub to remember!

Your profile is a powerful weapon!

You can put just about anything you want into a profile about yourself. You can claim to be things that you are not, you can load it up with links to your other sites, you can even play the great game of deception! Not sure what I'm talking about? I'll explain.

I have come past the most amazing sounding profiles on here. People build themselves up to sound so promising. They refer to themselves as wild, crazy, unpredictable, and interesting. I've read profiles that made me so intrigued, I just had to follow those people. Some talk about their life, where they live, and often they will take the opportunity to express their creativity.

They will poke fun at themselves, their jobs, society, and even their families. You come away from their profile feeling as if you will read some unique, funny, outrageous, and eye opening material. Then you go and read their hubs, or simply look at the titles of their hubs, and realize that their profiles were the only interesting things that they were able to write. Their articles end up sucking, and sounding similar to the people on here who really are experts, about the things that they write. Hey, maybe their hubs are written really well, maybe they are really useful, but if you choose to follow someone because they sound funny or interesting, and they really aren't, I call that deception!

Here's an example:

You come across the profile of someone named "fleefromdarkness". Their profile says something like:

- "I come from the depths of the darkest corners of the universe. My mind is a twisted collision of tragedy and beauty. I'm a master of nothing, yet my eyes have room for everything. Creativity bleeds from my pores and manifests itself into written words. Feel free to read my articles but beware! For you never know what type of twisted, outrageous, chatter, may spit itself forth from my insides!"

"fleefromdarkness's" first three articles:

- Ten ways to benefit from SEO training

- Five common things that all puppies share

- Get noticed with internet advertising! - A few secret tips that the experts use.

Wow! Talk about a serious letdown! I was expecting some of the most mind bending articles in the world. The kind that are dark, deeply depressing, and soul shattering. Stuff that will lay with you, and makes you think. But instead, you got some second rate nobody, who isn't an expert on anything, and hasn't a lick of creativity inside them. They probably had their gothic friend type that profile up for them.

The first thing that probably pops into your mind is, "Wow, this person is pretty lame." And I'm sure that they are, but regardless of what you may think about them, that profile did get your attention, and it did get you to check out a few of their articles. Which is all that anyone can really ask for on here.

Another great "ridiculous idea", is to refer to yourself in the third person. You can do this for your entire profile description, or only for a part of it if you want. I've seen both styles on here. This is a great way to fool people into thinking that you are much more successful, than you really are. The trick here, is to write your profile in a way that makes it seem like someone else wrote it for you. You might get some feeble minded folks to believe that you are much too busy and important to take time to write your own profile. Nope, instead, you had your assistant type it up for you. This is also a great way to toot your own horn and brag about yourself, without sounding like you're a completely stuck up, self centered, show off.

"I'm, too sexy to write my own profile. Too important to write my own profile. So busy that I can't write my profile. My assistant writes my profile... And I go disco dancing! I'm a writer, you know what I mean. I write my own articles, and someone posts them for me. And something about a catwalk." haha!

Here's an example of what I mean:

You view "queentessa's" profile, and it says, "Queentessa is a professional writer who has won numerous awards for her brilliant and captivating works. She currently works as a journalist for the Mystical Gazette in Belarus. As well, she has published hundreds of books and short stories, and has a fan base similar to that of a movie star. In her country of origin, she is held in the highest regards as a national role model to all. She has an MS, an MBA, a BA, a PHD, an STD"... and she's full of BS!

Anyone with half a brain knows that this chick wrote her own profile. Plus, in many cases, the people who make these claims about themselves, have simply falsified their credentials. You make way more money writing anyplace professional, than you do writing for Hub Pages. If you break it down to your actual pay-per-word, you make next to nothing compared to an actual journalist who is paid a dollar or two per word. If these people wrote professionally, they wouldn't have any interest in writing on here, where they have to rely on people to click things. It would be a giant waste of time. They could be making more money writing the same stuff somewhere else. It would be like Stephen King deciding to start writing the microwavable cooking directions on the side of Hot Pockets wrappers. IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!

Granted, there are plenty of people on here who actually are published authors, and actually do work for newspapers, or may have done so in the past or whatever. But who is to know otherwise, if you tell people that you are a professional writer? Especially if you don't use your "real, full name", on your profile. You can tell them you're an actor if you wanted. Hey, if you don't put a picture of yourself, and instead you use a photo of an ocean, they will never know the truth!

The key here is "deception". Shrinks will advise us that, "if you think you are great, and you like yourself... others will think that you are as well, and they will like you." Now I say, "if you "tell" other people that you are great, and make sure that they can't research it, then they might possibly believe you!" You tell a lie long enough and it becomes true. The possibilities are endless when it comes to making your profile. So use it to the best of your ability, to try and get people to recognize you, and your writing.

The idea here is to make your article jump off the page at someone. In essence, it really doesn't matter what you write about. What matters, is whether or not you can get people to read it. The title has to sound super promising. You don't want to make your article sound lame and boring, like some kind of computerized robot typed it up. You want your article to appear to be hip, eye opening, and fresh!

This is why your title needs to rock! Check out the difference in power between these two titles:

- Things to watch out for when you own a puppy

- Life Threatening Alert! - Dog owners beware, of "these" dangers

Now tell me, which one would you be more likely to read?

Now here's a tricky one, you have chosen a topic that lots of people write about, and plenty of people are interested in reading. You picked a title that's sure to clean house, only something isn't right. The problem is, that you don't have the first clue on what this subject is really about. Your research concluded that "dogs" are quite popular things to write about, and you want to write an article on dog grooming.

Now, if you have never owned a dog, have never worked in a pet care facility, haven't gone to school for, or even read a book about dog grooming, you probably feel like you aren't at all qualified to write such an article. Well I say, "think again!" You are definitely qualified to write this kind of an article. Why? Because other people on here do it!

They write articles on subjects and topics that they don't know anything about. Like you, there are probably lots of other people out there who don't know the proper dog grooming techniques. They seek this knowledge, and you can benefit from giving them direction, by telling them where they need to go to learn. Not following me? Here's an example:

Your article is entitled, "The proper ways to groom your dog". You don't have any actual information on this subject, and you don't feel like looking it up. So what your gonna do, is instruct people on how to look the info up. You are going to tell people:

- First, determine your breed of dog. Research this breed to learn about it.

- Next, research the proper types of dog grooming tools that you will need for your breed of dog.

- Find a place to purchase these items and do so.

- Then research some articles on how to properly groom your dog. Maybe watch a few instructional "how to" videos.

- After that, you will select the right time and place to groom your dog, as per, the instructions you pulled from your research.

- Finally, you will follow the step by step instructions that you were able to find, on how to properly groom a dog. Good luck, and happy grooming!

Cut! Print! Wow, what a great article! That's a guaranteed money maker right there! A hub within a hub! I can't believe I'm not getting paid to write this sh#t.

"Did he seriously just write that?" You're damn right I did! But more surprising, is the fact that other people on here do that all the time. I can't tell you how many articles I have come across, that are exact mirror images of that. In all reality, you don't tell the perspective readers, any piece of valuable information about how to groom a dog. All that you end up doing, is telling the people who came to your article, looking for help, that they should look for an article that will help. It's stupid right?

The deal with this is, that you got an article online, that is listed under a heavily researched topic. It was easy, didn't take any time, effort, or research, and just like that, you're ready to make some money. Your article doesn't have to say squat for you to make money. You just have to make people "think" that it does. This is why it's so important that you choose a catchy title. Here at Hub Pages, you don't get paid diddly for the words you write. You get paid by people who click on your ads. In fact, anything over the bare minimum, is counterproductive.

The reason that this works so well, is that people come to your article looking for answers, looking for help. After reading it, they are no better off than they were before they read it. They still have a need for the knowledge that they came looking for, and here is where you cash in. You can post all kinds of Amazon ads on your pages that WILL help people. How to books and videos. As well, Google page impressions are tailored to your article. This means that they will be running ads about dog grooming.

See, if you tell them all that they wish to know, they might not have a reason to go any further. Meaning, that they won't click on your ads. This may be hailed as a cheesy hunk of garbage, as far as actual "how to" articles are concerned. But as far as making money goes, you got a good leg up on a lot of the other people who write similar articles. Because you spend less time researching, writing and editing. That means that you can spend more time pumping out articles. The more articles you have, the more chances you have for making money.

I have actually read a few articles where people advise you to do this. They say that you have a much better chance of people staying on your article longer, if you have plenty of things that aren't words. Photo's, videos, polls, graphs, and things of that nature. People are much more likely to hang around on your article if these things exist. Considering that most people aren't up for reading an entire article, especially if it is long, and they tend to skim read a lot of it.

In my previous tip, I shared a way for you to tap into the subjects that are beyond your area of expertise. This tip right here, is a great way to compliment that. People might not find your article to be very interesting. It certainly won't be too helpful. So if you add some photos and videos, and other neat little things, your article might be more interesting to the reader. In fact, you would probably benefit from every little thing in your article, that takes attention away from the actual words you wrote. This is definitely a good idea if the article you wrote sucks!

You just have to make sure that your photos go along with what you wrote. Show pictures of people bathing dogs, anything on those lines. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so why not add a bunch of them?

"Wait a second now T.Y. I thought we wanted people to click our ads, which essentially, will lead them away from our page. So why are you telling us to add things that will keep them on the page?"

Good question! The reason is that, the longer people stay on your page, the higher it will be ranked in search results. You adding photos to support your topic, only helps to keep people in the mindset of what they came to your article looking for. If you have interesting things on on your article, the people will hang around at least long enough to check them out. It could only give you a few extra seconds, but it could also give you a few extra minutes. More importantly, if your article bit the big one, people will be more likely to overlook that fact, or to forget about that fact, if they are interested in the other things that are on your pages.

Just about the time that they get done calling you an idiot, they have found them self at a poll question, which calls out to them, saying, "answer me". The question could be as simple as, "How often do you think you should groom your dog?" This type of question works because it's asking for an opinion, and it keeps the focus on the subject that they are interested in. It also encourages them to find out the answer that the professionals will give.

Another possibility is, that they may have navigated their way to a video that's attached to your page. This should be a video that's directly related to your article. But for the best results, you don't want to post a video that will give them the information that they are seeking. Nope, you want them to click your ads to find the information. So it would be wise if you post a video where someone like a veterinarian is talking about the benefits that come from grooming your dog. You could also post a video that talks about the harmful things that could come as a result from you "not" grooming your dog. This is a form of a small scare tactic, and it will possibly help to make people even more eager to learn how to groom a dog, and therefore, it increases your chances of having them click on your ads.

I came across an article that completely blew my mind, a few weeks back. This article wasn't even an article at all. It had a title, and it had pictures. Lots of pictures. In fact, it was basically one big advertisement.

Some chick went out and made a profile, where she talked about herself in the THIRD PERSON, and all it basically was, was her attempt at being noticed for her looks. Maybe she hoped that she would get a modeling or acting job from the whole thing. I have no clue!

Her profile said: "Susy Q. whoever the hell", is an aspiring artist and free thinker. She has done various forms of acting and modeling in her home country of Australia. She is very busy in her profession, but if you would like to seek out her abilities for your own project, feel free to contact her via email."

The article I opened up, was nothing more than pictures of this girl. They didn't even look professional. She wasn't the least bit attractive, and wasn't at all in shape. All the pictures were of her in some sort of jean jacket vest, and jean skirt. They weren't revealing in any ways, "thank goodness", and they didn't look much different from each other. They were all of her in the same outfit, with the same pose, and the same hairstyle. They were all taken from the same angle, and the only thing that differed, was the stance that her body was in. It's as if she had someone snap twenty pictures of her in the same pose, hoping to later go back and pick the best one. Only she didn't do that, she instead, posted them all online.

It was funny, because there wasn't anything written in the article at all. No captions on the pictures, no photograph info, nothing except a title. Then at the end of it all, there was a box for comments, and would you know it, she had a ton of comments from other hubbers! People who obviously have trouble getting laid, were telling her how great her photos were, and how great she looked in them. Talk about BS!

It all goes to show that pictures are a wonderful way to dress up any old hum drum piece of worthlessness.

TIME TO TAKE A SUPER EXCITING POLL!

This is a great chance for you to show off your vocabulary. Most people on here will claim that they write simply because they wish to express themselves, or because they love to write. In reality, they are most likely looking to advertise their writing abilities, in hopes that someone will come along and offer them a job. Now sure, they would almost have to love to write, to be doing this, that goes without saying. Because for most of us, the income from writing on here is far less than minimum wage. So it sort of has to be a passion, to keep you from ripping your hair out.

Now the benefits of using big words, are far more than you might realize. See, people seem to think that they sound smarter, and more professional, when they do this. So when someone else reads their articles, they end up thinking that you are smart. Heck, you might even be able to dupe people into staying on your articles, just because you use big words. They might assume that because you are using big words, you have to be smart, and therefore, you have to know what you are talking about. Even if they can't understand what you are saying!

Much like my previous tips on choosing a good title, and cluttering your article, big words are another technique that will help you maintain a good standing with the reader. If you use a lot of words and phrases that they don't understand, they are less likely to realize that you aren't telling them anything useful at all. You can get away with writing complete nonsense, and the average reader won't be able to tell the difference.

You could take a simple phrase such as, "Dog grooming is good.", and turn it into a four sentence masterpiece, that sounds like it came strait from a college professor's mouth. That is, if you use the right words. The best part about it is, that you sounded super intelligent, by saying pretty much that dog grooming is good, and you've confused people into thinking that you actually said something useful. Again, people won't take too kindly to an article that they can't understand, but if they end up clicking on your ads because of this, then mission accomplished. Right?

As far as I'm concerned, proper grammar, and a massive vocabulary, only help to qualify you to be an English teacher. Maybe, at best, they might help you to get a job as a reporter. Without having creativity, and an imagination, you could never be able to write the way that people like Stephen King do. No matter how book smart you may be.

On the other hand, Stephen King doesn't write newspaper articles or "how to" guides.

Big words and phrases could cause people to stay on your page longer, or it could cause them to jump to one of your ads a little quicker. If they have to stop to look up the meaning of a word, or if they have to read a sentence three or four times to halfway get it, you have them staying on your page longer. Which increases your page score, and increases your chances of being found in search engines. Now if people end up being bored with the things you have wrote, because they don't understand them, then it could cause them to jump to one of your ads. Either way it's a win for you! Big words also help to improve the score of your article, just by being in it. Somehow or another, hubs are calculated by their content. The more professional sounding and grammatically correct it is, the higher it will be scored.

Yee-haw! That's right buckaroo! Cowboy hats are the biggest key to success in the online writing world. I have no idea why, but all you have to do is put one on, take a picture of yourself, post it as your profile image, and presto change-o! You become a writer!

It's like the Sylvester Stallone movie, "Over the top", where he does a bunch of arm wrestling. "Hey yo! it's like, when I turn this hat around..." He's a different person. He goes from zero to hero, just by turning his hat around. It's like injecting a dose of super steroids or something.

There are quite a few people on here who wear cowboy hats in their photos. Some of these guys are really great writers. Others however, completely suck ass! I have actually come across people on here who can't write any better than a second grader can. Their grammar is horrible, their spelling isn't even close. But for some reason or another, they have a high hubber score.

Maybe it's just because they keep getting confused with the cowboy hat wearing folk on here that do write good. Maybe people see the hat as something that commands respect. Maybe a lot more people find cowboys attractive than I realize. I honestly have no idea!

All I can say, is that the stats don't lie. Cowboy hats equal success. So go out and get yourself a twelve gallon hat, and get busy having a rootin tooting good time!

Give birth to 45 kids and home school them!

What better reason is there, to avoid getting a real job, so you can stay home and play on the computer all day? If you can't convince your husband that you should stay home and not work, because you have a kid, try having more kids! If that don't work, convince him that they need to be home schooled.45 kids, are 45 reasons for you to stay at home. Plus, if you home school them all, that will take up half of your adult life. That gives you a awful long time to shoot for a writing career.

In the real world, it's hard to find time to write, when you have to work eight hours a day. This greatly limits the amount of articles you are able to put out. If you only have time to write one article a week, which is about the same as me, you won't be doing much of anything that's successful. Good writing requires a little bit of time. You need to be able to edit your stuff, add photos, and do research. It's like a full time job.

Now granted, earlier in my article, I did give you a few ways to cut that stuff down, but even if you do, you are still limited by having to go to an actual eight hour job. So if you really want to do well, you need to be able to devote your entire self, or a good sized portion of yourself, to writing. This means that you might have to do a few things out of the ordinary, to get your husband or spouse to agree with you staying home to write. Especially if they aren't the least bit supportive of you, and they don't feel like busting ass, by working doubles, just to make up for the income you aren't bringing in.

You tell your husband or wife that you want to quit work to pursue a writing career, they just might slap you. They could come back at you with a remark like, "so do MILLIONS of other people". If you get any kind of reaction similar to this one, or you suspect that you will, you're better off not asking at all. This is where you need to be creative, play on his or her emotions a little bit. You need to find a reason that he will be cool with you staying home. One that might even make your spouse feel like this can benefit them.

Plenty of women are stay at home moms. Even some men are stay at home dads. In my opinion, as a son, and a father, it's a wonderful thing to have at least one parent stay at home with the kids. It's far better than having some stranger raise your children, and kids are less likely to grow up with abandonment issues, "my mommy never held me" issues, and they won't ever be able to say that you weren't there for them.

As a stay at home parent, you have a wonderful chance to take a shot at writing. You are able to make your own schedule, and you'll have plenty of time to sit down and write. Just be sure to keep up on your other duties. You don't want to zone out and have your child wander off. And you really don't want to start neglecting your duties of keeping up on the home, as the person who gets to stay home from work everyday. Keep dinner made, to keep your love happy. Keep the house clean, "Barbergirl", haha! Stuff like that. Make your significant other feel like they are blessed by having you at home everyday.

There are also a lot of other ways to defeat having to go to work everyday. You could always choose to be a wackjob. Smack your husband or wife around a little bit. Threaten a couple of the neighbors by waving a shotgun in their faces, and firing it off a few time within city limits. Or you simply choose to harm, or even to tell people that you plan to harm, yourself. All of these things will get you a stay in the mental hospital, if not prison. Now if you end up in a mental institute, you're halfway home free. You can use this to help you file for social security at a young age. Plenty of people do it. Mainly, because they're too lazy to go to work.

Finding a way to collect disability, or a way to scam welfare, could also result in you not having to work. If all of your efforts fail, you could simply play sick, or even fake an injury, or some depression, and hope that your better half will have sympathy towards you.

No matter how you choose to look at it, you finding a way to get out of having to work, will greatly increase your abilities to succeed as a writer.

Since you read this far, I decided to reward you with another poll!

Don't feel bad if you want to be a writer, and you can't come up with ideas on your own. There are plenty of people out there who can. All you have to do is find a way to work, someone else's work, into your own work, in a way that will make you sound like a dork. People don't seem to care if the "creatively impaired" steal other people's ideas. They just seem to laugh at it, or act like it's cute. It's the same kind of feeling you get from seeing a three legged puppy trying to chase a bird.

I have seen people steal all kinds of stuff to spice up their articles. Some of the more famous ones are, "But wait, there's more", and "That's not all folks". People take and use catch phrases, slogans, sales pitch phrases, famous TV lines, and music lyrics. They take everything, and since these are sayings that most people are familiar with, no one seems to mind. They read over someone's article and slightly chuckle when they come to these things. They realize that the author's horrible attempt at sounding funny is pretty lame, but they chuckle nevertheless, and move right along without paying any mind to it.

I personally think that this is one giant load of bullsh#t! If you use other people's work when it comes to photos and such, you are supposed to get the creator's permission first. This also applies to stealing things that you read from other people's articles. I believe the term is called, "plagiarism", better known to us average folk as, "the way we got through high school". This is something that an article can be flagged and removed for. But for some odd reason or another, when it comes to items such as this, people never flag it. Not even people who are typical flaggers. The reason is most likely because they think that it's "dorky-funny",

In all reality, it probably isn't even against the law to use people's catch phrases and slogans, unless if they creator has bought the rights to them, or in other words, "coined the word or phrase". Maybe it gets so looked over, because of the fact that, when people read something like, "But wait, there's more!", they KNOW that the author didn't come up with it. In the case of quoting from a song, it certainly is against laws if you don't at least reference the source, but again, no one on here seems to care, and lots of (but not all of) the top dogs do it. So I say, "If you can get away with it, and it helps you to gain a higher score, and it helps you to make more money, you should go for it!"

What's that word again? "ADVERTISE!"

Yes sir. Advertising is a great way to get yourself heard. In fact, it's practically the only way. Referrals and word of mouth should be considered as a form of advertising. I'm not sure if they actually are or not, but to tell you the truth, I don't really feel like looking it up, and because I'm supposed to by trying to use the same tips I'm writing in here, I don't have to look it up!

So whatever the whatever. Advertising is your key to getting people to view your junkie article. If people don't know you wrote and article, they can't read it. If they can't read it, they aren't gonna be clicking no ads, now are they? So let's get on to spreading the word! We're gonna use all the regular tips, posting on facebook, establishing back links, peckering around with keyword mumbo jumbo, and all that sorta boring stuff. Or, we can follow other people's examples, and go out there and do some real damage in the advertising world!

A simple stroll through the world of Hub Pages, where we take a look at our fellow friends, will give us more than enough ways to "scatter" our hubs about. People on here seem to go nuts with this stuff. I see people go onto other people's hubs and leave comments that will include links to their own hubs. They answer questions, just to plug their hub. They drop love for their hub in the forums, and they even ask themselves questions, to promote their hubs in the "Latest Answers" portion of this site.

"Woa, what a cotton picking minuter here! People are asking themselves questions? You can't ask yourself a question on one of your hubs, the site won't let you." Well, haha!  Where there is a will, there is a way, (Someone else totally made up that phrase and I just used it!), and Hub Pages will help you to it.

As soon as you click the "publish button", a new page opens up to tell you that your hub has successfully been published. One of the options on this page, asks you if you would like to sign in as a different user. It's like dangling a nerd, with a pocket full of money, in front of a hooker on speed! You can't pass that up.

Right here, on this page, Hub Pages is telling you one of the best ways to continuously advertise your hubs. It's really pretty simple. All you have to do, is publish a hub, log out, sign into your alternate account, (or create a new one), go back to view the hub that you just published, and "ask this author a question". Your question will automatically be posted under, "latest answers", and it will state the name of the hub that you asked it on, along with a link that goes directly to that hub.

So after your hub falls from the graces of the "latest published" hubs category, you can easily advertise, and revive it, by simply asking yourself a good question on it. When you do this, you want to make sure that you ask a really good question. One that lots of people will either, answer, or view to read the answers. It stands to reason, that if someone finds the question to be helpful, intriguing, funny, entertaining, or informative, they will most likely check out your hub. Advertising doesn't get much better than this.

Now the plaguing question that probably pops into your mind here is, "But T.Y., isn't this illegal to do on Hub Pages? It has to be against the rules"

Well, to be completely honest, I don't really know if it is or not. I mean, on the page that comes up after you publish a hub, they outright ask if you want to sign in as a different user. Even if it isn't illegal to do, Hub Pages doesn't really have to ability to stop people from doing it. They don't have very many people on the payroll in the "monitoring bad behavior" department. But if they did, it would still be hard to track.

You can't ask or answer any questions on Hub Pages. So if an outside viewer wants to do one of these things, they have to join. Maybe they only care to join, so that they can ask one question. How is the Hub Pages team supposed to know which users are fake, and which ones really want to know the answer to something?

What's even harder to track, is when someone creates a second profile, just to ask a question on their own hub, only to delete that profile later on in the day. Hub Pages would probably refer to it as "someone slipping through the cracks", if you were to ask them about it. Well I'm telling you that it's much worse than that. It's worse than people pouring through the flood gates. In fact, if Hub Pages is actually trying to stop it right now, they are every bit as effective, as a person attempting to replace a broken dam, that holds back a 200 thousand acre lake, with a pebble. And the reason they are so ineffective, "if they are even trying", is because there's no real way to pin a bogus account to an actual one.

"Well how often does this stuff really happen T.Y.?"

Every hour of everyday! Go look through the "latest answers" portion of this site as soon as you finish reading my wonderful hub. Pay attention to the questions that were asked on a particular hub. At least 90%% of the time, the person asking it, will have a hubber score of a 30, and no picture. If you click to view that questionnaire's profile... Big surprise! They will not have filled their profile out, and they will not have written one hub. The only hubtivity that they have, is asking the question that you viewed. I have followed some of these people and they end up being deleted after a while. At one point, I found a person who would ask 5 different questions, on 5 different hubs, that were all written by the same author. This "fake" user, would ask a new question, on each of the same five hubs, every two hours, for the entire day. The next day, that hubber was deleted, and a new one was doing the same thing.

Yes, I reported this activity, and no, it didn't get resolved. It was weeks ago when I emailed the Hub Pages team. So whatever the case may be, other people are doing it every day, so you might as well do it too! It might not be right, but it's still a great way to advertise.

The final piece of advice I have to give is simple, up your overall score as an author. Aside from writing articles and getting page views, your score is partially calculated by all of the actions that you could possibly take on here. You can link to other hubs, email users, leave comments on other people's hubs, leave comments on your own hubs, ask and answer questions, participate in the forums, and you can vote on other people's hubs. All of these things help to raise your overall score as a hubber. Another way you can increase your score, is to go flag happy!

There are lots of flag happy people on here, and there are tons of reasons for why you can flag someone. I have had extensive email conversations with people who will outright admit that they are flag happy. One chick said that she dedicates one whole hour per day, to looking for things to flag. These things include: profiles, hubs, and questions.

Now, I don't completely agree with the act of flagging. Not when people do it for fun. Hub Pages doesn't employ a lot of people who are responsible for filtering things. In fact, when I spoke with a member of the pages, he told me that there are only 3 people in the office in San Francisco, who actually focus on reading people's emails. I don't think that they want to foot the bill to pay for people to cruise, so instead, they give the option of flagging to everyone. If you participate, you are rewarded with a little icon of attribution, as well as a slight boost to your hubber score.

I have had plenty of my questions flagged and removed, and I threw a big fit over this. The questions that were pulled, required a simple answer. It seems almost like a two way doomsday set up. No matter how you operate, you can get the shaft. If you ask questions that require too short of an answer, they can be pulled. If you ask ones that encourage a discussion, they can be pulled. Almost every question on here, could start some kind of discussion, to some sort of people. Even if it's a simple yes or no question. Even if it's a question where you ask people something like, "What is your highest bowling score of the year so far?" This ends up boiling down to who you are, who views your questions, and who happens to be in the mood to flag. The top hubbers on here, seem to be able to ask just about any question they want, and even if twenty people flag a question, that blatantly violates the rules, their questions won't get pulled. So favoritism is definitely something that happens here.

I'm mentioning this all because it's easy to flag things. There are plenty of things throughout the pages. Plus, you can flag something that has already been flagged by someone else, and still get credit for it. It takes time for the hub patrol to get around to reading all the emails they get. So things might stick around after they have been flagged for a few days. As long as it's up, it can be flagged. So if you can easily spot out things that can be flagged, you should go for it. You will be rewarded.

Another way to up your hubber score is to gain followers. This has become a classic. I have participated in asking plenty of questions. I have answered plenty of questions. I have been unique with everything I have done on here. The comments I leave on people's hubs are even good. From it all, I have netted about 3 total followers from doing these things.

The hubbers who give advice, will tell you that the best way to gain followers, is to participate in forums, questions, and comments. Uh huh! Well I say it isn't! In my opinion, the best and fasted way to get followers, is to follow other people!

Yep, hubbers following hubbers, for no real reason at all. You have a very good chance of someone following you back, if you follow them first. If you go out and choose to follow 250 hubbers, one after another, by the next day, you should have at least 75 new followers. If you are lucky, you could get up to 175, from just an hour or so of following random people. The best way to do this, is to start a little deep into the rankings of hubbers. One time I tried to look myself up. I wanted to see how deep I was on the list of best hubbers. I traveled back through almost 800 hubbers, starting at the beginning where people were ranked at 100, and I was only down to around people ranked as a 94. At the time, I was ranked as a 91. I got sick of the idea, as it seemed that for every number down from 100 you went, the numbers kept doubling. There were 15 hubbers ranked at 100, 25 ranked at 99, 40 at 98, and so on.

Well anyhoo, if you have an interest in following random hubbers, I would suggest that you start down a ways for the best results. The top hubbers seem to get new followers everyday. Occasionally I will check out the hubtivity of a certain member who is about a 98. She gets a new follower like every twenty minutes! People like her, aren't gonna follow you back. They have too many followers, and their heads are too big. She is also a person who does the third person point of view on her profile. "Oh I'm much to busy to be worrying about following other people. I am above that. I write, people follow me, it's not the other way around."

Yea, well let her keep her nose in the air. You're better off starting in low 90's to mid 80's. Just go page by page and work your way down. I promise this will benefit you. I have seen plenty of people do it. Not everyone will follow you back. I won't follow someone who does this. But the more people you follow, the more that will follow you back.

How do I really feel about the this article? Time to be serious!

Plenty of people want to have success on Hub Pages. I would say that the first thing you should do, is to define what the word "success" means to you. It's not the same for everybody. Some people consider success to be, having even just one follower, who really loves the things you write. Some are all about those big clumps of green. "No, I'm not talking pothead language!" I'm talking about money. If you are hardcore for the dollar, the tips I have listed here can certainly help. I found lots of people with the pages here that do these things. And yes, people stand a better shot at making money by doing them. However, I myself do not do these things. I'm not after the money. I would certainly love for someone to come along, read my things, and offer me a job. But if you take one look at any of my hubs, you can easily see that they are not geared towards attracting clickers. I mean, after 7 weeks, I still haven't made one cent. I just don't want to write the types of articles that will attract that kind of crowd. I want to be original.

In a profile, I believe that people should be honest. They shouldn't lead people astray, by making it seem like they are going to write interesting and creative articles. They definitely shouldn't be trying to convince people that they are going to be funny, if they don't plan to make any jokes.

A title should be very eye catching. I don't like the idea of misleading people, though I have seen a hub that advertised "great ways to make money online", and the article was of someone who was advertising their home decorating business. It made no mention of making money online whatsoever.

Videos and pictures, and things of that nature are nice things for the readers to come across. Even the best written articles can seem tedious when they are full of words that offer up no breaks. These things should compliment the article, rather than be the focus of it. Some of the best hubbers on here, do a wonderful job of adding these things and making their articles flow. In some cases however, I feel, that they are going a little bit overboard. I have come across articles that have multiple videos, tons of pictures, graphs, and polls. They look a little bit too perfect. Almost as if they have been written to be a college presentation report. To me, that's way too much.

I myself, rely on the words I write, to be the focus. I want people to stick to my article because they enjoy reading it, not because of the extras. Big words are ridiculous in my opinion. Some every once in a while are OK, but to write every sentence like your speaking in super legal language... That's too much. I want people to be able to stroll through my articles easily. I try to write them in the common words that form people's everyday speech. I personally, get bored if I have to keep looking up definitions, and if I have to read things more than once to get them. I happen to write very long articles. But my friends can read through them in ten minutes or so. It takes them just as long, to read articles that are a third of the length of mine, because they have to keep reading the same sentences over and over.

We can't expect to turn new readers onto reading, if we confuse and bore them. The hardest part for the people who didn't do well in school, was the reading. They couldn't comprehend stuff after they had read it, mainly because of the way it was written. I often read over a hub and say, "Can you just speak English?" It's sad, considering that I actually have a pretty extensive vocabulary. Writing in mega sounding, professional language all the time, seems stupid to me. I fell that if someone wants to play reporter on here, and they aren't a real one, they should try to re-write the news, in a way that normal people could understand it. They might even make a name for themselves by simplifying things for other.

The cowboy hat thing was just me poking a little fun some people. I'm not convinced that twelve gallon hats are magical, but then again, I'm not convinced that they aren't!

Now, your writing career can definitely improve it's chances of taking off if you have tons of time to devote to it. I don't agree with any of the ways I listed, to find ways to get yourself out of working. That part was mainly for a laugh, and also meant to be a little preview for some of the hubs I write in the future, where I plan to go off on these types of people. Should be a lot of fun!

This day and age, both couples need to be working. Women fought so hard for so many years, to gain equal rights... Well they need to get their asses out there and work! I'm just pickin ladies! There are plenty of men who find ways to get out of working. I actually know more men, than I know women, who have found ways to stay home from work, while their partner has to go.

I will always say that I believe at least one parent should stay home with the kids. But when they get old enough to go to school, that parent should go help out with getting at least a part time job during the hours the kids are away. House chores can be a full time job, I know this, but they can still be accomplished when both people are working. That is, if both people pitch in after work to do it!

House cleaning is every bit a man's job as it is a woman's. And guys who feel strongly against what I just wrote, might one day find themselves having to do ALL the housework, because their women up and left them!

I am probably guilty of stealing other people's ideas, and doing some of the forms of advertising that I listed. I purposely made it a point to steal other people's ideas for this article. But aside from that, there are just too many people out there, who have said too many different types of things. I could end up writing someone's catch phrase and not even realizing it. I found an article online where Hulk Hogan is suing a car dealership for using his catch phrases. So stealing things like that, could end up hurting you later on.

I have lightly used some questions and comments to give myself a little plug. I don't go all out and be completely obvious when I do it though. I don't follow anyone, unless I like what they write. I also won't ever create a second profile with bad intentions. I want people to like me for the things I write. If they follow me for any other reason, I'm fooling myself into believing that my articles are better than they really are. I don't want to lie to myself about how good or bad my stuff may be. Pretending to be loved, won't ever get me a real job in the writing world.

As the final note and end of my super long hub, I'd like to send a "thank you" to anyone who made it this far. I didn't mean for this hub to be a list of tips when I started out. I wanted to report on, and make fun of, some of the bogus things I have come across on Hub Pages. None of the things I wrote were made up. People really are doing these things, and people really are making money by doing these things.

I found lots of stuff in the pages that were disturbing to me. Maybe I needed to write this article, as a way for me to make sense of all of this stuff. Cause almost all of it, seems so wrong to me.

I think that's all I have to say. This hub is way too long, so I'm done with it. Hope some of you enjoyed!